f8 show thy force

i am queen of ultimate suay-ness, i tell you. i cannot access the internet because my laptop is mad despite me leaving it overnight at the it centre. then before that, i found myself almost university-less because i didn't submit an online form because i forgot all about it. my room is infested with lizards that shit everywhere, i've fallen sick for the nth time this year. my threadless shirts got lost but i'm getting new ones with a voucher so hurrah. i have a test on SATURDAY at 8 am in the morning. i am so dead. this is only the tip of the bleeding iceberg.

this will be my eulogy at my funeral okay,

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

change he to she, can? then you guys can take turns reciting each verse, thanks.

p.s: rachel, who's thians?