life is so short and unpredictable that i don't want to burst off the starting blocks in the first race i get. i'm not afraid of the horrible sensation of cold air being inhaled in drags with all the effort i can muster as i pump my legs in a fury towards the end. i'm not afraid of the fatigue thats sets in after the race, i don't even fear blacking out after the race. what i do fear is that i will learn that i gave my best shot in the wrong race, and the race that i was meant for had long been over.
i am so fearful of wasting my youth on things that are unworthy of my attention that i spend my time mucking about. i am vacillating between feelings of guilt and frustration, and i am being eaten away by them.
our day will come.
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