today, the mother tried to talk me out of doing chem engine again. i must look really stressed to my mother because it's the second or third time she has told me to drop the course if it's too tough because engine is very competitive. strangely enough, this issue about competitive course mates did not cross her mind at all when i was in secondary school or jc. frankly, the competition back then was stiffer just that it would be stupid to fret if people scored better than you then because almost every-bloody-one did.
apparently she doesn't want me to be doing a subject that makes me unhappy. she didn't seem to think that way when i told her that doing lit in secondary school would make me happy though i still did it in the end. i just don't have the heart to tell her that most of the time that i spend holed up in my room, i am doing absolutely nothing. she thinks that i deserve much better grades though i keep telling her that as long as i know i am capable of doing it, it doesn't matter if i actually get the As but it would be potentially embarrassing considering how i'm already in nus if still cannot get A ah then aiyo. oh i am such an arrogant asswipe :D
our day will come.
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