do i not give my all in what i do because i suspect that it's really not what i want or am i sabotaging myself again? i've got so much to be thankful for these days though i've squandered most of my chances away. as usual, it looks like it's too little too late but i think there is still time for amends if only these attempts could be sustained after the initial burst of adrenaline.
i don't know if it's the nature of the task at hand or it's me. i do know i want to make something out of it but for what? i am suffering a highly acute case of quarter life crisis. perhaps it is aggravated by my waking hours.
our day will come.
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