this particular thought (desire?) has been popping up in my head more often than ever and i cannot tell if it's just me being curious or if there is a genuine need for it. the horoscopes all say that things will go my way, but they lie because i see no such end in sight. as a result my dreams and thoughts are invaded by this crazy thought which is wrong wrong wrong because the world knows that i am dead superficial.
why so cryptic? because i am the equivalent of the creepy old guy at the bus stop who does just enough to creep young girls out but not enough to get caught. or i could just be shy.
nostalgic sunday.
i maintain that all these problems boil down to my crippling inability to ignore/love/feel/commit.
They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.
Philip Larkin - This Be The Verse
our day will come.
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